Remembering 2008

4.30 Am, i was riding my motorbike heading my home in Central Jakarta. I was so sleepy, the street was so quiet, just some bikes ran very fast like someone chasing them, some scavengers slept on the street, oh ya i saw also one old man was cleaning the street. I stopped when the red light is on, actually i could just passed it because not many vehicles yet. But i was just trying to be a good citizen by obeying traffic lights. While waiting for the green light, i just closed my eyes for a while coz i was a bit sleepy, but not too long i opened my eyes and i saw one bright meteor with its beauty, i could barely remember the color of the meteor, the head was bright as stars, but its tail wow its beautiful coz its green. I think its the most amazing 5 seconds view in my life. During that 5 seconds i quickly make my wish, i know it sounds silly to wish when the meteor falls, but anyways, i wished i could be a useful person someday so i can help as many people as i can. That was my wish. Thats my dream, as i becoming more realistic and not idealistic, i could say that the way i think about matters changed. 2008 might not the best year in my life, many shocking things happened in 2008, most of it about financial. How to keep you floating in this crisis is to keep a simple life style, meaning that you buy things that you need, not the one you want. Keep in mind that always be lesser and greater people that you are. 2009 is coming to knock our door, for some of us it might be an opportunity or bad luck. But lets all with open heart to accept the reality that the world is not going to better unless you do something about it. Lets continue to rely on God's power to lead us to a better life.

US Crisis

What a powerful country.It is happening now in US but the impact could be spread around the globe. I think US has now realized that they are reaping from its "over confidence government policy& leaders" American citizens are now worried about their future, with 8 T dollar debt will draw this country into their extreme economic fall, unless there are other powerful countries and institutions who will lend money to US, but of course it will not come for nothing. President George W. Bush bailout's plan are really bothering the senate now. I understand its hard decision in the senate because it affect US people itself. I should say that the senate should pass the bill for this bailout because its urgency to save financial market. But in other hand the US should focus to its country. Meaning to say US has spent so much money for war, for their intelligence operation around the globe. I believe President Georg W.Bush will be remembered as the worst President ever. Regarding US foreign policy, i should say they should be able to control their ambition to take control the world and to respect the UN. US is destined to loose.
Ok enough for the past. Its Bush labeled. For the President, either Obama or McCain should focus on its economic growth and be a partner for countries around the globe. Respect other countries, keep goverment control away from religious freedom.

P.46

I was on my way to reach home
It was 10 pm
I saw two boys stepped up on the bus
with hungry face, and smelly scent
I saw their sheer eyes, i knew they were in pain
They began to sing
The song of liberation of suffer
Funny things, they still being captive in it
Their faces looked tired
I knew they had a sleepless night
Their voices were bumpy
I knew they were hungry
I sat near one of the kids
He was probably only 3 years old
My heart in trouble, these kids should be in the playground
Playing with other kids,
Not here, in the bus working till late night
In my heart i cried to my Lord
I asked Him: Lord, please dont not abandon these kids
After i finished praying
I slipped money into the envelope and i handed it to them
Thats all i can do Lord, I know You will do more than this.

My Little Neeon

Have you ever felt so lonely
Where no one to talk to
Just listened to the wind
My thoughts appeared to have no pattern
Just sit alone...
I felt the wind beneath my feet
It was a comfort..
I just remembered when i sit like this, and you there beside me
Sharing laugh and joy under the bright stars
I guess i was allowing myself to be hypnotized by your love...
It was a mirage when i thought of you and me would be forever..
Im not a seer
Things what i was afraid has finally came...
We both went opposite way..
Letting you go was the hardest task in my life...
Here i am, sitting alone on a stone
I tried to find answer to my decision; however, its too late
I guess that was my biggest mistake...
My heart not accustomed to this..
I still can feel the your smile, and the flower scent of your breath
Still remember your morning face, it was the most beautiful morning view in my life
Still remember your voice when you say " hello" on the phone...
I guess i was right, but i was so grateful
Because you illuminate my soul..
Brightens every dark corner in my heart...
My love resting upon you..... Forever..........

Herald of Faith

I just want to tell you that I am aware of my sins

There are still dark corners inside me

Your power is like a spark of light

Illuminates my soul

Its You Lord that make me whole

Deep inside I want You to know that I love you

When my heart is in troubles

When I shed tears

I know its You that can make it still

Speak to me O’ Lord

Show me the way to comprehend your wills

Teach me to obey you every second of my life

Guide me to the path of Thy righteousness

Lead me to Thy wisdom

Let me come to You with thanksgiving

With humility allow me to bow before Thee

And to whisper a prayer of amen.

Stupid Love...

Pull out my shoulder from a wall I have been leaning on

Thinking the way to understand this complicated mind

Something is going on down here…

I don’t know how to call this…

Let’s say its love, but no trust

If it’s a feeling, but no chemistry…

Or is just a lust…

Choice I should make…

To tell the truth but hurting

Or to just keep it but I’m dying…

I guess I have to keep it...

For I will not ask too much for what Almighty has set for me…

Or I am being to naïve??

Counsel of Love

I used to love rain
but now i am in pain...
Trapped in a perfectly imperfect love
its rough and tough...
360 nights passed, i am still trapped...
Slamming the door of my heart..
Searching to where should i start..
Start to end the finish line.........
I go the the east
To the west...
Go to where the wind blows
I see the finish line
But i couldn't reach it..
I just cant..
So i just wait for the finish line to come to me..
Even though its impossible....

IF I COULD REACH YOU

It was 11pm, i couldn't sleep.I tried to read some books but it couldn't make any progress to my sleep-station destination, until i knew that my heart was in trouble. I was hauled into the deepest feeling of mine. I was afraid of my future. I said " shit". Being born in a ordinary church worker family i knew i couldn't enjoy many things like other kids did. Remote control car i never had, robots toys that i never touched. I said to myself " no problem". Loving kind parents who always love me was all i got. I went to college abroad with enough money and lot of prayers hoping someday i will change the world. It was not all like what i expected. I didn't get summa cum laude or any laude's sister but i really enjoyed my college time with so many experiences that i cant forget. I had girlfriend who i really loved even though to love means to let go also. I made friends with many people and i met great persons who now became my best friends. I got some scholarship that made me possible to continue to finish my master's degree. Thank you Lord. But then what? I prayed to God " Lord make me a channel of blessings." Just couple of months after i graduated i got my best friend called me asking me whether i am interested to work in his brother's company. I was outside Jakarta at the time my best friend called me, doing internships. So i said to my best friend i will go to Jakarta. I said to God" Thank you Lord." It was a very big multinational company , i want to do my best and i want to change the world i said to myself. It was 12.01 am , i felt its time to summarize this. Many experiences happened to my life and i thank the Lord for that. Sometimes i feel into temptation, but the weaker i was the more blessings come to me. God is so good. I just love him every second of my life. That night i prayed to the Master of the Universe that i am now not afraid to face my future. I don't want to keep blessings for my own. God has given me so much and i am obligated to do the same thing to others. Just think that human will never get enough so just let it go. We tried so hard to accumulate wealth for our own safety. Nothing is safe here on earth. Use it to help others to make good memories. Because you not gonna bring anything into the grave. Thank you Lord

My prayer: " Lord i dot know what will happen tomorrow, i just pray that you always be with me to help me to achieve my dream of becoming a blessing. I just want you to know Lord despite of my weakness in facing temptations i want you to know that i always love you. If i have to die tomorrow it will not a big deal for me because you know that i love you.

The Art of Freedom “Separation church from the State” Bohemian Spirit

It was a warm afternoon where Tom was sitting in the office working with his computer while outside the office were people with attributes and uniform marching, “sure,” he thought “this is the last day of campaign for governor election.” He said. He had not decided yet to whom he would give his voice. “Tomorrow would be a big day .” He thought. Tom was aware about gossip that was going around in the society. One governor candidates were from the strict Islamic party while the other candidates were supported by others national and democratic parties. It was 4pm when Tom got an email from a friend in the office. He didn’t see all the receiver names in the email because it was put under BCC. He assumed that this email was sent to many people. The email was with attachment of Microsoft Word in it. He opened the attachment and straight down to the bottom of the letter. He did that because he wanted to know the person who wrote the letter. He was shocked because at the bottom of the letter written the name of the person and the position of his job. He was shocked because the letter came from the leader of one religious denomination in the country. In that letter this church leader urged to all Christians community in the country not to choose governor’s candidate from the Islamic party. He said all the reasons why Christians should not choose the candidate. “It was a strange awkward reasons.” Tom really thought that it was non-sense. Tom was a devoted Christian, but he didn’t agree to this man because of what he has done.

Personal Opinion

Church should not involve in political business. In reverse government will make sure freedom to worship and to choose religion. Church should stand alone as a pillar of faith.

Let us remember our church reformer such as John Wycliffe, John Huss, Jerome, and Martin Luther and my beloved bohemian people. They sacrificed their life for the church to shines the truth. Let the bible alone becomes the foundation of teaching in church and may the love of Jesus Christ reflects from us.

Heart of Diamond

Sunday afternoon, It was rainiy. Birds hide under trees' branches,just sound of water dropped from sky,no lightning,nothing.It was quiet afternoon where most people stayed at home. There was he, sit under one of those trees with his wet body and hungry face. His eyes were moving, he was like want to say something but he didnt see anyone pass by. He saw his old rugged watch stopped on 7, he knew it was 7pm. Rain still play with its business, it didnt stop yet. His name is sam,but it was his short called.Real name was Samsudin. He was selling "ketoprak". Ketoprak served with tokwa mixed with peanuts sauce with additional vegetables. Rain was getting heavier, he pulled out and stopped under the tree,he put down his carrier from his shoulder. He didnt get any costumer yet. He was thingking "should i go home now,? God was not on my side today". But he decided to stay because He thought about his wife and 2 children at home waiting for him to bring some food for that day. "Im going to get costumers and bring food to my family." From a far he looked someone was coming to the tree where he was hiding. Sam was very happy, "i know God will send me costumers," he said. It was an old woman walking very slow, she didnt have any umbrella,just some used clothes covered her head.Samsudin ran to her and tried to help her to walk faster because rain was getting harder and harder. Now both of them were there under the tree. Samsuding hoped for costumers,but he knew that this old woman wont be his costumer. He saw hunger in her face, she was shaking. And it was right, the old woman asked samsuding " can you give me something to eat?" she said. Samsudin inhaled,almost cried. Now he had to cook food for this old woman for free. But samsudin was a really good men. He said to the old woman "ok grandma i will cook for you." He was a good ketoprak maker. He started to fried the tohu and while waiting for the tohu he prepared the peanut sauce and vegetables. Here it came delicious ketoprak. The old woman ate it slowly but she really enjoyed the food and rain seemed tired playing now, it slowing down. The old woman finished the food and the rain stopped. Time to depart, she returned the dirty plate to samsuding and said "my son thank you for the food." Samsudin just smile and said " your welcome grandma." He knew he will not get any money from this old woman. The old woman said " i knew you didnt get any costumers yet but still you gave me free food to eat." Samsudin just smiled, "its ok grand ma," he said. "I dont have money to pay you but i do have something for you," she said. She opened her old bag and pulled out one small box and said to samsudin " open this when you arrive at your home." samsudin said "ok grandma." The old woman and samsudin went for different direction.After 10 steps of walking samsudin turn his head and he didnt see the old woman anymore, he thought " ah maybe she can walk faster after eating." He didnt think anything about the small box, but he just kept his promise he will open this box soon after he arrive at home. Samsudin arrived in his house, he took a bath, and told to his wife and children about his experience. He told them " we need to see what inside the box now. He opened the box slowly and shines burst from the box. He watched carefully of what really inside the box, he found that it was a small white stone called diamond.


Lesson Learned : Help anyone you can help, dont be choosy because you dont know you might help an angel.

Meet the Angel

I flashed my memory back in 1997 where i woke up in the middle of the night looking at my friend slept so peaceful. I knew he got sick that day. He transformed seeds of one plant called "kecubung" and made it became dangerous drugs. I remembered one time he said to me " i got bored with this life" Actually he not that poor. He came from middle family economic status but the obvious things different between me and him is that parents' attention. But i will not talk bad things about him. He is my bestfriend. I knew somehow my friend has this "advanced" sense. He got sick because he consumed his own drugs and made his body so exhausted and skinny. This kecubung drug works like this; When you consume it, it will attack your emotion, and you became uncontrollable. Often they used this drug to fight, but not this time. My friend used this for his own happiness.Actually i dont know what kind of happiness that he will get after consuming the drug. I liked marijuana before and i knew i got happy when i consumed it. But this kecubung, im not that sure. So after he consumed it with normal dose he felt not satisfied, so he added more doses and more until he got really really sick. His body weight down by 7kg in just one week.Can you imagine that?. He just slept in the room and every day i brought my friend food to eat. So one night i woke up, it was 1 am in the morning. I looked to my drugged friend and i was shocked to see someone was there. An old man seated beside him. I dnt know who was the old man, maybe ghost or angel. I starred to this old man for 20 seconds wondering who was he. The old man seemed so peaceful,he bowed his head, actually he looked sad, i can see from his face. But this old man didnt see me, im not sure he didnt want to see me or he cant see me. It still a mystery for me.So after 20 seconds of starring i slept again. At 7am i was shocked to see my drugged friend came from the outside and brought me some food. I knew yesterday he still cant walk, so weak. Now he was just like before but still thin. Question in my mind, who was the old man last night? Did he do something to my friend? did he heal my friend? i didnt watch whole scene.i believe i saw an angel,because i saw what he did to my friend.My friend healed.