IF I COULD REACH YOU

It was 11pm, i couldn't sleep.I tried to read some books but it couldn't make any progress to my sleep-station destination, until i knew that my heart was in trouble. I was hauled into the deepest feeling of mine. I was afraid of my future. I said " shit". Being born in a ordinary church worker family i knew i couldn't enjoy many things like other kids did. Remote control car i never had, robots toys that i never touched. I said to myself " no problem". Loving kind parents who always love me was all i got. I went to college abroad with enough money and lot of prayers hoping someday i will change the world. It was not all like what i expected. I didn't get summa cum laude or any laude's sister but i really enjoyed my college time with so many experiences that i cant forget. I had girlfriend who i really loved even though to love means to let go also. I made friends with many people and i met great persons who now became my best friends. I got some scholarship that made me possible to continue to finish my master's degree. Thank you Lord. But then what? I prayed to God " Lord make me a channel of blessings." Just couple of months after i graduated i got my best friend called me asking me whether i am interested to work in his brother's company. I was outside Jakarta at the time my best friend called me, doing internships. So i said to my best friend i will go to Jakarta. I said to God" Thank you Lord." It was a very big multinational company , i want to do my best and i want to change the world i said to myself. It was 12.01 am , i felt its time to summarize this. Many experiences happened to my life and i thank the Lord for that. Sometimes i feel into temptation, but the weaker i was the more blessings come to me. God is so good. I just love him every second of my life. That night i prayed to the Master of the Universe that i am now not afraid to face my future. I don't want to keep blessings for my own. God has given me so much and i am obligated to do the same thing to others. Just think that human will never get enough so just let it go. We tried so hard to accumulate wealth for our own safety. Nothing is safe here on earth. Use it to help others to make good memories. Because you not gonna bring anything into the grave. Thank you Lord

My prayer: " Lord i dot know what will happen tomorrow, i just pray that you always be with me to help me to achieve my dream of becoming a blessing. I just want you to know Lord despite of my weakness in facing temptations i want you to know that i always love you. If i have to die tomorrow it will not a big deal for me because you know that i love you.